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This post is from Grown and Flown.

After the admission process is done, you’ll switch gears to helping your high schooler prepare for college living: finding the perfect room decor, getting advice about how to pack, and realizing that your kid will manage their life without you right there. That’s when the panic can set in: how is this kid — who you’re pretty sure might mix up dish detergent and laundry detergent — going to handle his or her first, well, whatever??

College students will make mistakes, and likely some will be much bigger than using the wrong detergent. Accepting that inevitable mistakes can be scary for parents, and it’s natural to want to help our kids avoid them.

My colleague and co-author, Dr. Sara Levine, and I are parents of high schoolers and college students. We see the worrisome daily headlines about the multiple crises affecting young people. We share your fears.

Reconciling fears for your teen’s future, knowing they will make mistakes

So how do we reconcile our anxieties for their future with the reality that these are the years when young people are supposed to make mistakes to learn and grow and establish their own identities? As experts in young adult physical and mental health, we try to encourage parents to think of themselves like spotters for a climber: you’re holding the end of the rope or the bottom of the ladder, but your kid is figuring out the next step on their own.

We’d be remiss if we didn’t acknowledge that some mistakes are more dangerous than others. As physicians, we have both been called on by patients, friends, and family to help a struggling college student when things have gone awry.

So, how do you prepare your kid for a healthy college experience? How do you encourage them to embrace the good kinds of mistakes and minimize the ones with much more serious consequences?

How parents can prepare teens for a healthy college experience

1. Teach them that navigating healthcare is an essential life skill.

For many teenagers, their first experience with “adulting” is trying to get their driver’s license and coming face-to-face with the DMV’s confusion, inefficiency, and frustration. Their experience with healthcare is unlikely to be any different; the sooner they start learning to navigate this system on their own, the better.

Use the next time you pay a co-pay as an opportunity to explain what a co-pay is, demonstrate how to refill a prescription (from calling the prescriber to picking it up at the pharmacy counter), and start having them make their appointments.

Young adults with chronic or complex healthcare needs may have more experience or need more assistance with these types of tasks, but these are skills that everyone needs. Parents are often concerned about getting health care proxies signed (never a bad idea), but use this shared document as a transition step, and empower your students to begin to manage their health and healthcare on their own.

2. Ensure they know their medical history, medications, and allergies.

Maybe your child is the one for whom every cold triggers an asthma exacerbation or they are prone to UTIs. They need to be able to communicate this to a healthcare provider on their own, including what treatment has or has not worked for them in the past. Find a way to keep this information easily accessible for them — a shared Google doc, notes list, or screenshot of the basics stored in their phone photos.

If they end up at urgent care for a painful sore throat and can’t reach you, they need to know what they are allergic to — “it starts with the letter A” isn’t going to be enough — and have handy a current list of any active and ongoing prescriptions (names AND doses).

3. Talk to them about their family medical history — especially their family mental health history.

Though it’s a natural instinct to want to shield your kid from things that can be sad or scary, your family’s medical history is a crucial part of their health journey. There is a strong genetic component to many physical and mental health disorders, and knowing what runs in the family can be reassuring and preventive.

They might feel better understanding, “my mom told me this is what a panic attack feels like,” or “maybe this is depression, like what my sister has.” And they might make healthier decisions if they are aware that “exercise needs to be part of my life — high cholesterol and heart disease run in my family” or “everyone in my family has struggled with addiction — I need to be mindful of how much I’m drinking” or “I have two cousins who have schizophrenia — I need to stay away from psychoactive substances.”

4. Review how and when to use over-the-counter medications to manage mild illness.

This is surprisingly hard! How many of us hand our kids something when they aren’t feeling well without telling them what it is or what it’s treating? Do we even know ourselves? Understanding the difference between acetaminophen (Tylenol) and ibuprofen (Advil or Motrin) or an antihistamine versus a decongestant versus a cough suppressant vs. an expectorant…it’s complicated!

Teach your kid to read labels and make sure they aren’t doubling up on something when they shouldn’t be. As physicians, we’ve taken more than a handful of calls from students or parents when someone is high as a kite after combining a couple of cough/cold/flu multi-symptom relief medications. Send your kid to school with the things they’ve needed most, and make sure they know what they are and when to use them — and what NOT to combine.

5. Teach them about contraception and sexually transmitted infections — or point them toward accurate sources of information.

Whatever your family values regarding sex, teenagers and young adults need access to medically accurate information. These days many young people rely on TikTok and YouTube — both of which can be full of shocking misinformation and disinformation.

Some colleges have robust reproductive healthcare services available on or near campus, but others don’t. Your daughters AND sons should know what they can access — even if they have no intention of needing it. Whether in college or beyond, understanding contraceptive options may be the single most life-changing health skill they can ever have.

While we are on sexual health — make sure they understand consent.

This can be harder than it seems, mainly when substance use is involved and inhibitions are relaxed. To be clear, no means no. Period. Full stop. Make sure your sons and daughters understand “affirmative consent” — the idea that not saying no is not the same thing as saying yes.

Talking about sex, particularly now, can feel awkward, but learning to communicate what they like or want to do and what they don’t like or don’t want to do will lead to many healthier, safer, and more enjoyable sexual relationships.

6. Over-communicate about ways to be safe around substances.

For many college students, substance use is socially normalized experimentation, but for others, it’s a way to self-medicate and escape from overwhelming feelings including anxiety and depression. Nudge your kid to consider the role substances — alcohol or drugs — may play in their lives.

Some will never touch the stuff. Others need to know — especially if there is a family history of substance use — that now’s the time to learn less risky ways to cope with difficult emotions. Similarly, it’s critical to understand that any drug — even “legal” cannabis gummies or “prescription” Xanax — can be contaminated with highly-addictive or lethal substances.

There is no truly safe way to experiment. Still, efforts are increasing to make people aware of fentanyl test strips or Naloxone (Narcan) as ways to mitigate opioid-related harm. Unfortunately, so-called “date-rape drugs” (Rohypnol and other substances intended to induce amnesia) are notoriously difficult to test for. Teaching your kid never to leave a beverage unattended or leave a friend at a bar or party are two simple acts that can prevent some truly horrible tragedies.

Click here to read #7-10.