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This post is from Grown and Flown, and by Andrea Malkin Brenner. Andrea Malkin Brenner, PhD is a college transition educator and author who speaks with high school students and parents about the challenges related to college transitions. Andrea is co-author of How to College: What to Know Before You Go (and When You’re There) and the creator of the Talking College™ Card Deck. The Talking College™ Spanish Edition and the Talking College™ Campus Visits card decks will be published in the spring of 2023. SeeAMBrenner.com.

Raising children involves preparing them for what’s to come. Practicing new routines and discussing unfamiliar and potentially challenging scenarios to reassure teens that the unknown isn’t totally out of their control. Thoughtful preparation shouldn’t stop when teens graduate high school and plan to transition to college.

Discussing important “adulting” topics is essential for you and your college-bound student. The pre-college conversations below are suggested to initiate discussions with your child, not parental lectures. These conversations enable parents to share their opinions, provide guidance, discuss expectations, and communicate their support for their teen’s ability to thrive in the transition ahead.

They also offer college-bound students the opportunity to share their ideas, concerns, and expectations before they independently handle many of these issues.

Parents need to talk about these 10 topics with their college-bound students

1. The Big Picture

Why have this conversation? Sometimes parents overlook the most obvious questions in their conversations with their college-bound students. Big-picture discussions will help ground future conversations about the big transition ahead.

Prompts to start the dialogue: Why does the student want to attend college? Why do you want your child to go to college? What decisions does the student want to make independently in college? What decisions do you want your child to make independently in college? What do you each consider a successful college experience academically? Socially? Emotionally?

2. Family Expectations

Why have this conversation? Parents and teens often have differing expectations about how their relationship will change once college begins.

Prompts to start the dialogue: How often and by what means do you expect to communicate with each other once college begins? What are your expectations regarding your child’s response to texts and phone calls? Staying in touch with siblings and extended family? What is vital about how your child manages their first weeks in college? What is most important for your student to know about life at home when they are away?

3. Money

Why have this conversation? College costs continue rising, and families struggle to pay for their children’s undergraduate education. Simultaneously, most incoming college students lack experience with budgeting, saving, loaning, and using credit.

Prompts to start the dialogue: How much does the student’s college (or the colleges they are considering) cost annually, including tuition, room, and board? What will the family/student contribute? Does the family/student anticipate taking out loans? Who will be responsible for repaying these loans? Will the student find part-time work in college? How will expenses be handled, such as food off the meal plan, entertainment, or online purchases? Does the student know how to keep a weekly/monthly budget?

4. Safety

Why have this conversation? Student safety is a priority for every college, but with so many people living nearby, even the safest campuses experience their share of crimes, burglaries, and assaults. Discussions about emergency preparedness and safety precautions must be discussed with students before they leave home.

Prompts to start the dialogue: What are some ways for the student to protect themself while walking alone? What is their plan if a valuable item, such as a wallet or laptop, is lost or stolen on campus? How can students keep their friends safe while attending college parties? How can students keep their information safe while using credit cards or unsecured Wi-Fi connections in college?

5. Health

Why have this conversation? Parents have until now been responsible for preventative healthcare and caretaking for their sick kids, but college students will begin to manage all aspects of their healthcare (and illnesses spread rapidly in residence halls!)

Prompts to start the dialogue: What is the health insurance plan the student will have in college, and how does it work? Can the student narrate their personal health history to a medical provider? What are the names and dosages of the students’ medications, and why do they take them? Does the student make their appointments for medical and dental visits yet? Do they refill their prescriptions?

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